I'm no expert, but I trained oly lifts for a while. My best power clean was 265lbs at 6'1", 190lbs. I can give you anecdotes and tips, for what they're worth.
It takes quite a while to start getting comfortable with the clean. It took at least some months for me, possibly 3 or 4 before I started trying to progressively overload. I didn't want to go over 135lbs for the longest time. Be patient, it's a really complex movement. Once you get it, it will make sense, but it really does take a while.
Every beginner I've seen likes to try to catch the weight in their hands with their wrists hyperextended, so you aren't alone there. To get a feeling for what the weight should truly feel like in the front rack position, do zombie squats:
The catch is an upwards thrust with your front rack. You are catching the weight on your front rack. Your hands really don't need to be there at all for the catch -- indeed, some people with poor wrist flexibility or injuries leave their hands out of the catch altogether. For example, see Kelly Starrett here:
It takes quite a while to get the wrist flexibility for a proper catch. Stretch your wrists. Do oly-style front squats instead of crossovers, even if it's uncomfortable. Use elastic bands. Personally, the catch has always been the point of the movement that I fail most often (out of fear, because a miss can hurt).
Once you learn to really open your hips, the triple extension of the second pull will feel natural. Practice throwing a heavy medicine ball backwards over the head. I haven't found anything more helpful for feeling what completely open hips and triple extension feels like:
I strongly recommend this movement to feel how the second pull should feel. I didn't really "get it" until I started doing this. My hips never really completely opened.
The best cue I heard when I started was to think of my arms as cables. This really helped me get the notion of catching the weight with my hands out of my mind. The arms really should not be involved in the lift at all, they are only there to bear the load of the weight. Rotating your arms so that your elbows open completely forward can help you keep this in mind.
Hope that helps. Take your time.