The real problem here is your diet at large, not the snacks. Joshua gives you some really good 'small meal' ideas that can substitute as snacks, but if you do not have an overall satisfying diet, you are going to continue to revert back to old habits. You are working for your diet right now. Your diet should instead work for you.
The first thing to note is that you don't necessarily have to count calories. If you are not actively attempting to eliminate fat or build muscle, I would go so far as to say counting calories is pointless overhead. As long as you don't notice your weight fluctuating under a new diet that's all you need.
Your small meal <-> large meal cycle sounds like you are attempting to limit yourself to meals that lack the nutrition your body requires to thrive. They might be too small, they might be the wrong foods, they might simply not have enough nutrients in them. I don't know for sure because I haven't seen your diet. However, here are a few things you can bear in mind when reviewing your diet.
Eating often is good - 5-6 smaller meals a day will keep your digestion going at a constant clip and keep you from getting too overhungry. Especially if you have a job that allows you enough flexibility to take a few 15 minute breaks to eat instead of a single 1 hour break, you may want to look into this.
Fat does not make you fat - Fat, cholesterol, and all the other traditionally 'evil' things are not what cause you to become overweight and unhealthy. The inability to handle these things is what causes this. This inability usually stems from eating way too much fast energy such as sugars and carbohydrates (which backs up your digestive processes), or habitual ingestion of things that mess up the digestive process, such as trans-fats, artificial sweeteners, and select preservatives. Use clean, easy-to-digest fats from things like chicken, pork, eggs, and dairy to keep you satisfied for longer after a meal. Fats will digest relatively slowly and provide longer-term 'fullness' and energy.
Balance in all meals - Meals are most satisfying when they have a large variety of nutrients in them. Your body likes to use a large array of nutrients, and when it's short on something it wants, it has a tendency to ask very loudly by inducing a food craving. If you are having simply a bowl of oatmeal for a meal, you cannot expect it to keep you satisfied for long. A bowl of oatmeal mixed with eggs and garnished with cinnamon and apple slices, however, will probably hold on nicely.