I look at my body and it doesn't look masculine enough, so I don't feel too confident sometimes looking in the mirror. People tell me to lose fat and build muscle, but even after successfully doing that I still don't look masculine enough. I see a soft looking guy with little muscle, even with years in training.
People tell me that's close to the best I'll get without testosterone/steroids and etc. I am basically never capable of being super lean and highly muscular, so I look soft and weak even with 137 lbs. of lean mass and 13% bodyfat. I have tried to go lower, but my muscle has gone down if I continue slowly dieting. I don't get it because I see other guys with less muscle, but they have manlier looking bodies. I look in the mirror and see a feminine looking body that only barely comes across as manly.
Manly I believe looks cut, built and square/tank-ish looking in the torso. I have wider hips and my waist gets smaller as it goes up, much like a classical woman's shape. I have tried all ab/oblique/etc. exercises and I still have a womanly shape even though I'm a man. I have got testosterone checked and it's higher than average for a man of 25, but I still have a womanly body. As a reference, it looks like this shape (note though that this guy is not me, and I have more mass than he does):
Notice he has the classical, feminine feminine waistline? A friend of a friend tells me that this means less testosterone exposure in the womb, which means the body genetically accustomed itself to a more female figure, like a woman with the brick, rectangle shape has more of a guy figure.
To put it short, this means:
1.Less testosterone exposure in the womb, so a more feminine body is the result.
2.No amount of exercise/etc. can change this since it's like trying to make a hand longer. You may be able to hide it a bit, but it's genetic and fixed the shape it is -- womanly looking on a man.
I have seen guys with way more bodyfat that still have the classic, tank-ish, bulky man shape (so that's evidence that bodyfat alone has nothing to do with it, because huge fat guys can still have manly looking frames/features, whereas lean and built men can still have ladylike hourglass figures).
It seems losing bodyfat doesn't make me look more manly -- and neither does gaining muscle either.
So I've decided that perhaps steroids and lots of hormone augmenting/surgery is likely my only path.
I'll repeat this again: guys with less lean body mass and more fat can have more masculine figures -- and guys with lots of leanness and mass can have womanly figures. The problem is congenital test.