To do that right can take a year or even more. For instance gaining proper motion range.
I would ask you to try Roman bench. You can use more gluts, or hamstrings there. Just concentrate on particular muscle group. From that you can learn how to activate more, this or that group. Other exercise you can try is kettle-bell swing. That is dynamic exercise, while dead lift is static, however you can start training with it to activate gluts to "feel" them more while dead lifting. Overall performance, at least at start, will go down, but that is how learning goes.
You did not specified, so I'm assuming you do classic dead lift. Other version is sumo. It can be more suitable for gluts activation since quads are almost eliminated. Knees out which also supports gluts activation.
About muscles. From anatomy trains - dead lift means superficial back line usage. Look there - no gluts... Partially that is due to science/classification. However wider idea is that learning of complex exercises starts with right technique. Then - step, by step - activating more, and more muscle groups.
You've mentioned about YouTube videos. Kelly Starrett's videos like this one are good at start. Later it is quite hard to believe that there is one good method for all of us. However his body positioning, activating muscles before exercise, and care about spine are something everyone should know.