no agitation, but integration
Congratulations for integrating physical activities in your daily life! In my opinion, this is one of the key factors for health and fitness. My (rhetorical) question would be: Is commuting by bike more than just a physical activity to both of you? Does it brings joy and do you feel better afterwards? If so, I would like to suggest to transfer this mindset when it comes to food. food brings joy, tastes good and nourishes us. It often brings people together at a table and nourishes them socially and mentally. When food is no theory but enjoyment, it can result in a more healthy eating habit. My personal explanation from random research over the years: hard feelings that result in feelings of hunger should not appear; the body takes what it needs eventually and you will eat more at the end when he does not get what he wants in the first place. (I will look for some studies and edit this answer as soon as I am succesful. Thanks for your patience.)
conscious eating: ask your body
We are all individuals with different bodies and different needs. What is good for one does not mean it is good for another. We have to ask our body what it needs in the current situation. Our body actually knows what we need and we need to hear and feel that. We need to trust him by that ;) However, this is not as simple as it sounds. Emotions (anger, fear, stress, lust (because the food looks/smells so good)) tend to express themselves in feelings of hunger. In these situations it is helpful to take a break, breathe and ask ourselves: Am I hungry? Really?
the handful method
I have recently seen an experiment where a couple is trying the handful method for some weeks. According to popular media, the method was created by Suzy Wengel. The whole concept is based on the idea that our hand size is linked to our height and build. The rules are simple: each meal is made up of up to four handfuls, one or two of vegetables, one of protein and one of starch/carbs or fruit.
When the couple began to experiment, they thought that the portions were quite small, hers smaller than his. However, they experienced that the portions are actually sufficient to satisfy their hunger.
If you search the web for "handful diet" you will find some more information as well as a book by Suzy Wengel.
I hope that these three rather soft factors will please your needs in terms of food. I am curious whether the handful method works for you :)