I have heard that one guy told the other guy in the gym that he thinks a lot about gym and longs for it when he is outside gym in his everyday activities. He is thinking about what he will do and how nice it would be when he will be again in the gym. (actually - I have the similar attitude to my intellectual work - I enjoy it, I long for it and I am trying to free more time for it).
It is completely differently for me. I have no longing for gym. I am afraid of it and I am nervous on the days on whose evening I have scheduled the training. My performance in job (programming) is decreased in these days because of nervousness. I have velo-workouts on the days on which I have no gym sessions and I am nervous before those workouts too. It is very hard to plan my evening activities. I am missing so much time being afraid and procrastinating before gym and velo-workout sessions. This is real problem for me.
Is this some kind of illness? Or are such emotions normal (where is pleasure in workouts?) only most people manage to cope with such emotions. E.g. they ties they hardship with expected reward - e.g. - expectations to receive recognition from their partner?
My workouts are fine but I always have moments (for some minutes now as my muscles have grown and adjusted and longer time before it, i.e. I have not decreased my load but my hardship decreased because muscle growth and adaptation) when my load is not enjoyable. From the one hand - maybe the training schedule is bad, such hardships should not be experienced. From the other side - how can you grow your muscles if some stress is not put on them? And the last (the most important thing) - I had and I have to decrease my fat and weight. I managed to decrease it from 145 kg (it was unbearable and my personal life was disaster) down to 92 kg and my guess is that it is only because I was ready to sweat and be patient. I have seen so many other guys who have trainers and they are not doing such loads and my guess is - if I had trainer and I had listened to its moderate requests the I had not achieved this.
Well. This is really problem form my - my training causes this. I don't know the solutions - maybe psychology, maybe scheduling, maybe some medicals (my testosterone it at the lowest border of the norm). I just wanted to now how it is with other people and in what direction to seek the help?
Is it some kind of illness not to long for training and be even nervous and afraid of the prospect of training?